...intro 3... filosofando com carey stanford.. ..
... hello... everybody...
... ... dos 20 mil estudantes do sistema UH de ensino... lá da university of hawaii at manoa... pelo menos uma boa parte deles está bastante familiarizada com o nome... "carey stanford"...
... isso acontece pois carey... por ser diretora de todo o departamento que dá assistência-jurídica aos alunos estrangeiros... ( international students )... está sempre em contacto com eles...
... seja pessoalmente... dando orientações de como agir em relação à vistos... etc...
... seja... através de emails... onde está frequentemente em contacto com todo um número enorme dos... "international-students"...
--- --- ---
durante minha estadia lá... como estudante... primeiro de matemática... e... depois... de música...
eu... como todo estudante estrangeiro... estava... periodicamente em contacto com ela... no sentido de receber orientações relativas à renovação de visto... etc...
e... como muitos outros professores de lá...
a maneira com que carey se relacionava conosco...
era uma maneira bem amiga... informal...
sem... no entanto... deixar de ter...
uma postura... saudavelmente profissional...
sempre que era preciso...
sempre que era preciso... orientar...
no sentido de ajudar...... de compreender...
e... tentar dar o melhor de si...
rumo à solução de inúmeros problemas-burocráticos que...
porventura viessem a surgir... conosco...
..."massa" de "viajantes"...
perplexos com as várias faces do nosso querido... hawaii...
... faces essas... em sua grande maioria...
simplesmente... beirando a utopia...
em relação à beleza... e... qualidade-de-vida...
--- --- ---
ao chegar de volta ao brasil...
continuei trocando emails com carey...
... fato esse que demonstra... mais uma vez...
o espírito-saudável que a maioria dos professores ( ou orientadores )... de lá...
tem em relação aos seus alunos e... ex-alunos...
em um desses emails... ( que reproduzirei logo abaixo...)...
refletimos sobre o conceito da semelhança entre os conceitos de...
"pai"... e... "lei"...
"pai"... "lei"... "autoridade"...
... palavras... conceitos... que parecem ser...
de certa forma... às vezes... meio... interligados...
e... é mais-ou-menos... dentro desse contexto...
que a carta vai se desenvolvendo...
coloco aqui... uma cópia dela...
--- --- ---
hi... carey...
on the day that I was sitting on the stairs that lead to
the cafeteria
at the student-center main-building...
singing a sort of a beatles-song ( or similar )...
with the help of a simple... acoustic-guitar...
my eyes... suddenly... found you... walking up the stairs...
heading to the cafeteria...
it was lunch-time...
--- --- ---
I couldn't afford to distract my thoughts too much...
at that precise moment...
otherwise I might have lost the right-chords of the song...
but... still... in a fraction of a second...
my mind captured your picture...
walking up the stairs...
you... certainly... did see me...
and... discreetly... kept going your way...
as nothing different had happened...
--- --- ---
but... I felt a little bit... ashamed of myself...
I felt...
" well... she saw me...
doing this ( kind of )... weird thing...
playing guitar...
in a place...
in a situation...
which doesn´t fit too well...
with what people... normally do... here...
at a time like this one "...
but I had a good excuse ( to myself )...
of my ( abnormal ) behavior...
after all... I was simply...
... doing my homework...
after all...
I was ( formally ) enrolled on my second-degree-bachelor...
... I was enrolled on the music department...
--- --- ---
so... to me... I had this justification...
which gave to my... ( unconscious ) mind... the excuse...
the "self-authorization" to let myself act so
out-of-the-normal-alignment...
a self-permission... to be able to... ( finally )... express myself...
singing songs... whose lyrics... were related to a lot of things...
which were "stuck" inside me...
so... technically... I wasn't doing anything wrong...
if that ( imaginary ) "cop" asked me about my documents...
about my permission...
I would promptly tell him...
that I was just doing my homework...
( as everyone else does... sitting on those ( well-located )
steps...)...
--- --- ---
actually... I wasn't doing anything wrong...
I was at UH...
sitting on the steps...
sitting on a place...
which is supposed to be a place of socialization...
...of relaxation...
a place where it would welcome... anything civilized...
and... playing the guitar was not an un-civilized thing...
--- --- ---
but... in spite of having all this "arsenal" of
justifications to myself...
( for doing what I was doing...)...
even so...
I felt a little bit awkward when I saw you passing by...
and... in a very-good-manners-way...
you kept walking normally...
as nothing unusual was happening...
--- --- ---
maybe... my awkwardness towards your ( sudden ) presence...
was due to the link... that my mind had made... ( at that time )...
connecting you... to the figure of a "law"...
a "law" where it points-the-finger towards anything that is unusual...
...that is eccentric...
...that goes a little-bit... beyond the conventional "rules"...
in other words:...
what was "shaking-my-head" at that time...
was the figure of the concept of a "law"...
I mean:...
... of my father...
my father and the "law"... were synonyms...
(as opposed to my mother...)
my mother and the freedom...
my mother and the arts... were synonyms...
--- --- ---
coincidence or not... ( probably not )...
my father had passed away a few months before my
serenate-guitar-period...
at the stairs of the cafeteria...
my father passing away...
took away with him...
all the repressions that were still remaining...
on my unconscious mind...
from that point on...
I could do things that otherwise...
I wouldn´t dare to do...
( like... for instance...
singing at the cafeteria's steps...
during lunch time...
... a time where the entire UH...
passes through there...)
--- --- ---
my father had just passed away a few months before that
"serenate" phase...
but... during the previous three years...
probably it was because of him...
that I was trying to do my best... at the math department...
NOT because I wanted to show him...
how capable I could be in math...
BUT because... a completely different phenomenon was...
probably... happening:...
as I worked hard...
trying to prove all the details...
of the many abstract and complicated theorems...
I was also trying to... ( metaphorically )... prove to my father...
that my arguments were right...
( as opposed to his arguments )
so... actually... what was... probably happening... was that...
I was doing math ( proving theorems )...
in order to practice the hability to discuss with him...
as we can see...
my problem was ( always ) with my father...
( never with my mother )...
so... on those days...
there I was...
singing on the cafeteria stairs...
--- --- ---
I was being able to do that...
only because the walls of the dam...
which were holding the waters...
had gone...
so... the waters were able to flow...
maybe... in a dis-ordered way...
maybe... in an in-appropriate time...
but my willing to do it...
was too strong...
( after all...
I was already...
a... music "major"...
...minor...(?)
probably... pre-minor...)
=== === ===
... termina assim...
o tema desenvolvido nessa cartinha...
até a próxima...
tudo-de-bom...
um grande abraço...
...luis antonio...